would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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