MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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