My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Success! We fucked roommates!