Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.