I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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