the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize