I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
