My cat gives me a boner
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize