dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
