So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Porn is love you can see.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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