How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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