I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's never too late to be topless.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
