i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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