is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
