you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
not ubering you a puppy
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
