I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
