that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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