I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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