So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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