I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
