It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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