I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
