Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
