Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
