You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
