You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
