if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
