You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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