I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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