i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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