I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
