i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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