you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
