you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
