your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
