I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
