I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize