If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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