i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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