Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
