So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
