she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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