Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
