Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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