it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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