Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
