i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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