come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
