sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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