By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
