2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
me + whiskey = a bad person
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He shit in the fireplace
We need to feng shui this bitch.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
