Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
