I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
