you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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