I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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