And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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