imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
