what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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